Teens - Change Your Self-Talk and Change Your Life

Like all of us, you have a steady conversation with yourself. This is what you are thinking and telling yourself. These messages are called self-talk and research indicates that the average person has about 500, 000 thoughts each day!

A branch of psychology called Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) maintains that how you think largely determines how you feel and behave. Your thoughts or self-talk could be positive or negative. Positive self-talk could lead to positive feelings and actions. On the hand, negative self-talk  could lead to negative emotions and behaviors/

Self-talk affects every aspect of your life. In the TEDTalks, Dr. Valerie Mason-John, explains that we are what we think.

She shares her own story of how the negative thoughts in her head that told her that she was worthless led to self-defeating feelings and behaviors throughout her teen and into adulthood.

She explains that when she stopped listening to the negative chatter, she started to  hear, "I am beautiful" and "I am unique." She has since made it a habit to tell herself positive statements like these every day, and her life changed.

Teens Can Experience the Benefits of Gratitude

Teens who cultivate a grateful attitude focus more on what they have than what they don’t have. Gratitude has a positive impact on their overall well-being.  Studies show that there are benefits to cultivating a positive attitude that comes through being grateful.

It is helpful to start to develop an attitude of gratitude when you are young and make it a habit to be appreciative on a daily basis and not just at thanksgiving. Being grateful will help to change your thinking to develop a more positive mindset.

A study shows that grateful teens are more likely to be happy than their less grateful counterparts. So start by listing the things you can be grateful for on a daily basis.

In the video below, coach Ahalya Kumaran,  describes five of her favorite ways to show gratitude. These include giving special notes of appreciation and doing something thoughtful for the people she is grateful for in ways that they do not expect.

A study shows that grateful teens are more likely to be happy than their less grateful counterparts. So start by listing the things you can be grateful for on a daily basis/

In the video below, coach Ahalya Kumaran,  describes five of her favorite ways to show gratitude. These include giving special notes of appreciation and doing something thoughtful for the people she is grateful for in ways that they do not expect.

5 Important Skills Every Teen Should Learn

Teens need to be prepared to become responsible adults. They must begin to acquire skills to handle problems and situations in life from they are young. They need the lessons and experiences that will help them develop the necessary skills.

Here are five essential skills that teens need to develop to prepare them for adulthood.

1. Confidence

Teens need a deep sense of being valued and worthwhile. Confidence develops primarily through their interactions in the family setting. When parents provide an affirming environment teens can explore new activities and learn from their mistakes.

2. Communication

 Teens need tp be able to express  themselves verbally. Effective communication is a key ingredient to help them to build healthy relationships. They need to learn how to deal with their emotions and express their needs and what they are thinking effectively.

3. Teamwork

 Teens with well developed interpersonal skills get on better with others. As they learn how to show empathy, that is, trying to understand other people’s point of view, their ability to work with others improves. They learn to share and develop strong friendships.

Best Ways to Reduce Anxiety in Your Relationships

In today’s world there are so many things that could cause you to be anxious and anxiety can put pressure on your relationships. Too much anxiety could also take a toll on your mental and physical health and impact the network systems that you  belong to.

 While feelings of fear and uncertainties could lead to anxious thoughts, you can take steps to reduce anxiety. Here are nine steps you can take gain control of you worry and relieve your anxiety in your relationships.

Don't allow anxiety to destroy your relationship.

1. Challenge self-defeating, anxious thoughts. The things you say to yourself could lead to feelings of anxiety. So you might need to monitor your thoughts, and replace negative  thoughts with more rational and self-enhancing ones. For example, what thoughts do think about your spouse after an argument? Are you afraid to say you are sorry?
2. Manage your time better. You could find that you get anxious because you feel unable to cope. Things could get overwhelming because of poor time management. Plan out the things you need to do each day and start with the most important task. Try and stick to your schedule as far as possible and ask family members for help.
   

How to Help Your Depressed Spouse

Maybe you recognize that things have changed in your relationship and you wonder why and what to do. For example, your spouse may have lost interest in daily activities, lacks of energy, and expresses hopelessness. 

Depression that is not diagnosed and treated in a spouse could take a toll on your marriage relationship and family life. As your depressed spouse withdraws from the relationship through lack of interest in intimacy you could be placed in a care-giving role. 

Your depressed spouse needs help,

Your depressed spouse needs help. Here are seven steps you can take to give the support and help your spouse requires.

Get Professional Help

The National Institute of Mental Health advises that the most important way to help a friend or relative that is depressed is to encourage the person to get the necessary diagnosis and treatment. This is the first and most critical step in your spouse’s journey to recovery. But in all of this you need to show compassion, love, and concern for your spouse.

6 Alternative Activities for Families who Watch Too Much TV

Take time to enjoy the outdoors together as a family.

Consider getting involved in activities that can enhance your marriage and family relationships through personal interactions. If your family watch too much television, here are six helpful and interesting alternative activities.  While there might be challenges as you seek to change, you can do it with determination, and your family could benegit immensely.

1. Meal Time Focus

You could find that meal time can take on special importance for family time together. This could involve conversations, fellowship, building relationships, and sharing what is happening in family members’ lives. This important activity should be separated from the distractions of watching television.

2. Read Together

Your family can spend time reading books, magazines, newspaper and other materials together. Take some time to visit your local library as a family and select books that you can read together. This could open a whole new world of knowledge and activities for growth within your family. The members of the family could be spending time together and learning at the same time.

What is Your Style of Parenting?

Parents need to be aware of their child's need

There is no question that parents have a far-reaching effect on their children. Parent-child interactions and the atmosphere in the home are important factors in children's development. 

Diana Baumrind identified four patterns of parenting styles, that is, how parents interact with their children. These patterns are based on two aspects of parenting that result from:

• the degree to which parents manage their children’s behavior (parental control), and
• the degree to which parents are accepting and responsive to their children (parental warmth).

Four parenting styles develop when these two aspects of parenting (parental control and warmth) are combined in different ways. They are authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful parenting styles. 

Best Ways to Manage Sibling Rivalry

Teach your children empathy,

Conflicts develop in every type of relationship but what is important is that your children learn how to deal with them. Many factors could affect how children get along and some underlying feelings could lead to sibling conflicts. 

Feelings such as boredom and rejection, competition for parental attention, and the temperaments of your children could lead to sibling rivalry. Dealing with your children's underlying feelings and their individual needs could lessen conflicts. 

Here are five ways to manage sibling rivalry in your family.

Build Affirming Family Life

 Children thrive in a nurturing home environment. In such loving atmosphere children are affirmed in words and actions. For example, you could hold regular family meeting where each child gets the opportunity to express his or herself. As you listen to your children and treat them equally, they get a sense of belonging and learn to  live together

How Fighting Before Your Children Hurt Them

Take steps to reduce the tension in your home.

It is very important that as a parent you make every effort to protect your children from parental fights and disagreements as this could have a negative impact on children. While there will be conflicts in relationships, try to use positive conflict resolution strategies in your interactions.

A good place to start is to take steps to minimize the number of fights between you and your spouse in the home to reduce the harmful effect on children. Here are some ways fighting in front of your children could negatively affect them.