Bad habits have negative impact on your overall well-being. These habits could include smoking, over-spending, unhealthy eating, procrastination, or even biting your nails. Some of these habits could put you at health risks or impede your ability to achieve some of your goals.
If you seriously want break bad habits, learning how they are formed could be very useful. In the video below, Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habits, explains the science of how habits work and how to break them.
During adolescence, teens attempt to assert independence and autonomy from authority figures in their lives. For some teens, this effort could lead to picking up bad habits. These seven tips are helpful to motivate you to conquer bad habits and develop more positive ones.
1. Admit that you have a habit that you want to change
When you see a habit as unfavorable for you, it is more likely that you will want to take steps to change. Then imagine what your life would be like without that bad habit.
2. Identify a possible reason for maintaining the bad habit
Your habit could satisfy a need. For example, you might be over-eating because you are not getting on with your parents. When you understand and deal with the underlying problem, this could make breaking the habit easier.
3. Keep a log of your activities
Try to monitor the habit for about a week to find what triggers the behavior. You could find that you engage in the habit at certain times more than others. For example, you could bite your nails because you are finding school stressful. Then you need to take steps to deal with stress.
4. Find a replacement for the habit
Since a bad habit might be meeting a need, try filling the void with something that is healthier. For example, you could become more physically active and practice relaxation exercises to deal with stress, instead of indulging in an unhealthy eating habit.
5. Avoid triggers
As far as possible, stay away from people, places, and things that could encourage or strengthen the bad habit you are trying to break. For example, you will need to stay away from places where alcohol is served. Keep close watch on the choices you make and consider their consequences.
6. Practice positive self-talk
Psychologists explain that how you think about a situation affects your feelings and behavior. Keep an optimistic attitude about breaking the bad habit, and even if you relapse, get back up and continue on the path. Tell yourself, “I will overcome this habit so I will be patient with myself.”
7. Get support
You need support and encouragement from people who want to see you succeed at breaking the bad habit. Ask your family for help for they can provide the affirmation and support you need. Take the opportunity to pair up with another teen who wants to break the same habit but avoid people who encourage the habit.
Breaking a bad habit can be challenging, but don’t give up. Take one step at a time. Visualize yourself succeeding, imagine what it feels and looks like, and keep pressing on!
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Do you experience intense fear of certain social
situations? For example, if you have to give a a presentation in class,
you experience increased heart rate, nausea, and trouble catching your
breath.
You fear
embarrassing yourself so you avoid certain social situations. This
condition is called social anxiety and here are six steps you can take
overcome this problem.
1. Share your struggles with your parents
If
you have excessive fears in social situations, for example speaking up
in class, you need to let you parents know. They might need to get a
mental health professional to evaluate your problem in order to give you
the help you need.
2. Identify automatic negative thoughts
Do
you have negative thoughts about what will happen in these situations?
Listen to what you are telling yourself. For example, you know the
answer for a question your teacher asks, and your self-talk is, “I won’t
know what to say, and they will think I am stupid.”
3. Challenge negative self-talk
Negative
thoughts increase your anxiety and fear for some social situations.
Start by asking yourself questions like: “Is there evidence for what I
am thinking?” Or you could ask yourself, “What is a more positive way of
looking at this situation?
4. Face the social situation you fear
Continuing
to avoid the social situation allows the problem to persist and
prevents you from doing some things that you want to do.
Start
slowly, taking small, gradual steps. For example, is you fear meeting
people, start making small talk with other students in your class. Be
patient with yourself and continue to practice the skills you learn.
Teenager,
Anna Vite, on TEDx talks, shares her struggles with social anxiety
since she was a young girl. In her presentation entitled, "Talk!" she explains that social anxiety limited her voice.
Anna now asserts, "My
social anxiety is not going to disappear but I have found a way to
manage it ... Even though I have social anxiety, I have a voice." Like Anna, you can move pass the fear and anxiety that keep you from speaking.
5. Practice relaxation techniques
When
you relax it eases the symptoms of anxiety and makes it easier to face
social situations. Practice doing deep breathing exercises by breathing
slowly and deeply through your nose, then exhaling slowly through your
mouth. This could keep you calm when you face situations that make you
anxious.
6. Draw from a caring network
Spend
time with people are supportive, affirming and have a positive impact
on your life. Also, try to take the focus from yourself and your fears,
and reach out to others. For example, reach out another teen at school
with genuine interest and kindness.
These steps could help to build your confidence so you become less self-conscious in everyday social situations.
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Public discussions focus a great deal on school
bullying in many countries. But bullying is not restricted only to kids
in the school yard. There are forms of bullying behaviors which are
manifested by control, intimidation, and social group isolation.
Social
and power differences are important factors that motivate teens
bullies. Teen bullying in social situations could take several forms
including causing the victim to be perceived in a negative way.
If you are
experiencing bullying from another teen in social situations, for
example at parties or on social media, this could cause you distress,
hurt your feelings, and damage your reputations.
Here are four steps you
could take to deal with teen bullies social settings.
1. Understand Bullying in Social Situations
Bullies
intimidate others in many social situations. This could take the form
of making unreasonable demands or demands which are not expected to be
met. Social exclusion is another form of bullying where others are
encouraged to prevent the targeted individuals from participating in
group activities.
No matter what form social
bullying takes, steps must be taken to effectively deal with the
problem. This could include the “victim” becoming more assertive through
greater self-confidence.
2. Build Your Self-Confidence
As
a teen, an important area to focus on when you are dealing with bullies
in social settings is your level of self-confidence. Self-confidence
indicates that you have a good understanding of yourself and an
appreciation who you really are.
When you are
self-confident, you are assured of your abilities, and you are not
largely dependent on others for affirmation. You have a positive view of
yourself and with self-assurance comes your ability to resist the
attempts of bullies to target you in social situations.
3. Become More Assertive
To
deal with teen bullies, you need the capacity to choose to engage them,
ignore them, or walk away. Respond firmly to bullies in these
situations, but be careful not retaliate in anger. Do not allow the
bully to control your actions.
Bullies are
generally very insecure and sensitive to how others perceive them.
Therefore, one strategy is to expose the bully’s insecurity making them
less likely to continue to hassle you.
In the video, Dr Phil gives three teen girls advice for dealing with bullies. He encourages them to take their power back.
4. Take Steps to Educate the Perpetrators
You
can deal with some bullies through educating them about specific
bullying behaviors. In some cases the perpetrators are unaware that
their actions are forms of bullying. You could also point out how he or
she is exerting control intimidation, explain the specific ways this is
taking place, and how it makes you feel.
It is important that you respond to bullies’ intimidation appropriately and put an end to bullying behaviors towards you.
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Teens face increasing demands as they learn to make
decisions and follow through with them. As a teen, you need to learn how
to allocate your time to the most productive activities in an efficient
way.
At 20, Vik Nithy is founder of three
companies. In this TEDx Youth Talk, he explains why people
procrastinate, and encourages young people to plan their tasks, time, resources, and process, but also plan for distraction and failure.
Like
Vik, you can manage your time well and achieve incredible goals for your
life. Start with these nine tips that can help you to make the most of
your time.
1. Establish a vision of what you want for your life
Though
you will change or modify your vision as you mature, you need a
foundation to start with. For example, by late teens, you should develop
personal and career goals with a plan on how to achieve them.
2. Prioritize your tasks
Make
a list each day, and set the tasks with the highest priority at the top
to work on first. Practice the Pareto Principle which explains that if
you complete the top 20 percent of your tasks each day, you could get a
80 percent return.
3. Focus on what is important
Don't allow yourself to be sidetracked. Don't waste your time on things that are not important to achieving your goals.
4. Set aside time for planning your day
Practice
to plan ahead. Start by identifying how much time you spend on which
task. Then divide your time and allocate it among the things you need to
do. For example, set aside time for study.
5. Organize a time planner
Write
down when assignments are due, test dates, and so on. This could help
you not only to keep on schedule, but to track your weekly and monthly
commitments and activities.
6. Find your best time
Try
to figure out when you do your best work. This is the time when you are
most productive, for example, you might work best at nights. If you are
you are a "night person," you could gain much from working on, for
example project, at nights when there is less distractions.
7. Manage distractions and interruptions
Avoid
the distractions, for example, answering the phone and surfing the web.
So turn off you phone when you are studying and resist the urge to go
online unless you need to access specific information that is useful for
what you are studying.
8. Learn how to say, "No"
Learn
to be assertive and you are less likely to become overwhelmed with too
many responsibilities. For example, it's alright to tell a friend that
you can't go to a movie with him or her because you have a school
project to complete.
9. Get enough sleep
Sleep is important for your overall well-being. It helps you learning and memory, and improves your mood.
Can you think of another step you could take, to manage your time better, in addition to those listed ?
For most teens, the adolescent years are vibrant and full of opportunities and promise. But some teens face grave challenges during this period. The World Health Organization (WHO) cites depression as the main cause of illness and disability among adolescents globally.
Even more, depression could lead to suicide, which is ranked as the third cause of teen deaths. According to Mental Health America (MHA), adolescent depression is increasing at a distressing rate, and a recent survey indicates that one out of five teens suffer from clinical depression.
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) indicates that in the United States, an estimated 3 million youth, age 12-17, had at least one major depressive episode in 2015. More than just statistics, real teenagers struggle with depression every single day.
Three Teens' Story
In these TEDx videos three teens share their battles with depression. In the first TEDx Talks, Hunter Kent, a high school senior, spent many of her teen years struggling with depression. She shares a journey that took her through despair and suffering.
Hunter says, "When you are living with depression, it doesn't just pass, it can strike after tragedy or emerge out of the blue. It can come from stress and pressure from school, friends and family, bullying and emotional abuse, and the media that damages our perception of self-image and self-worth."
Rising out of her adversity, Hunter has found help and the ability connect with and express empathy for others who need encouragement in their own struggles.
In he second TEDx Talks, Abigail, a high school freshman, shares her struggle with depression, leading to her as a fourteen year old, stepping onto the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge, preparing to jump.
Abby says, "Depression starts slowly ... as a little snow ball ... [it] starts rolling down the mountain, eventually picking up enough speed or momentum until it is a full-blow avalanche, out of control, that takes over your life and all of your senses."
Now, she is shares her story about recovery and "the courage to keep on going even when things look hopeless."
Finally, Kevin Breel, shares his own experience with depression. He did not look like depressed teen. He was team captain, consistently on the honor role; he was funny and confident.
He says, "There's a pretty popular misconception that depression is just being sad when something goes wrong ... Real depression is being sad when everything is going right and that's what I suffer from ... My story is this, I suffer from depression."
Kevin calls for people to recognize the problem of mental illness just as it recognizes physical problems. He is confident that we can beat the problem of depression if we stand together.
What is Depression?
While it is natural to be sad at times, depression is more than just feeling discouraged or being sad occasionally or when things don't go the way you want them to.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression causes feelings of sadness and a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. This could lead to various emotional and physical problems which could reduce a person’s functioning in all areas of life.
The DSM is the manual used to diagnose mental disorders. It describes different types of depression including major depression and persistent depressive disorder. According to the manual, persistent depressive disorder is characterized by the following emotional and behavioral criteria.
Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day (feels sad, empty, and hopeless)According to the manual, a major depressive episode occurs when a person experiences at least five the following symptoms for at least two week
Marked diminished interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
Significant weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
Trouble sleeping, unable to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much (hypersomnia)
Increase in restless activity, for example, hand-wringing or pacing, or slowed movements and speech
Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
Decreased ability to think or concentrate or make decisions
Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.
From the stories of the three teens, Hunter, Abigail and Kevin, it is evident that recognizing depression in teens might not be easy. But adults need to be alert for the emotional and behavioral changes in teens that could indicate that they are struggling with depression..
These changes could cause significant distress and problems in many areas of depressed teens' life. Teen depression is real, but help is available.
Resources
We need to face the facts about teen depression. We need to get well needed information and access help promptly for teens who struggle with depression.. Below are just a few sites with resources that could help you understand the problem of depression better. You can also find help for a teen who is struggling with depression.
Like all of us, you have a steady conversation with
yourself. This is what you are thinking and telling yourself. These
messages are called self-talk and research indicates that the average
person has about 500, 000 thoughts each day!
A
branch of psychology called Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) maintains
that how you think largely determines how you feel and behave. Your
thoughts or self-talk could be positive or negative. Positive self-talk
could lead to positive feelings and actions. On the hand, negative
self-talk could lead to negative emotions and behaviors/
Self-talk affects every aspect of your life. In the TEDTalks, Dr. Valerie Mason-John, explains that we are what we think.
She shares her own story of how the negative thoughts in her head that
told her that she was worthless led to self-defeating feelings and
behaviors throughout her teen and into adulthood.
She
explains that when she stopped listening to the negative chatter, she
started to hear, "I am beautiful" and "I am unique." She has since made
it a habit to tell herself positive statements like these every day,
and her life changed.
Teens who cultivate a grateful attitude focus more on
what they have than what they don’t have. Gratitude has a positive
impact on their overall well-being. Studies show that there are
benefits to cultivating a positive attitude that comes through being
grateful.
It is helpful
to start to develop an attitude of gratitude when you are young and make
it a habit to be appreciative on a daily basis and not just at
thanksgiving. Being grateful will help to change your thinking to
develop a more positive mindset.
A study shows
that grateful teens are more likely to be happy than their less
grateful counterparts. So start by listing the things you can be
grateful for on a daily basis.
In the video below,
coach Ahalya Kumaran, describes five of her favorite ways to show
gratitude. These include giving special notes of appreciation and doing
something thoughtful for the people she is grateful for in ways that
they do not expect.
A study shows
that grateful teens are more likely to be happy than their less
grateful counterparts. So start by listing the things you can be
grateful for on a daily basis/
In the video below,
coach Ahalya Kumaran, describes five of her favorite ways to show
gratitude. These include giving special notes of appreciation and doing
something thoughtful for the people she is grateful for in ways that
they do not expect.
Teens need to be prepared to become responsible
adults. They must begin to acquire skills to handle problems and
situations in life from they are young. They need the lessons and
experiences that will help them develop the necessary skills.
Here are five essential skills that teens need to develop to prepare them for adulthood.
1. Confidence
Teens
need a deep sense of being valued and worthwhile. Confidence develops
primarily through their interactions in the family setting. When parents
provide an affirming environment teens can explore new activities and
learn from their mistakes.
2. Communication
Teens
need tp be able to express themselves verbally. Effective
communication is a key ingredient to help them to build healthy
relationships. They need to learn how to deal with their emotions and
express their needs and what they are thinking effectively.
3. Teamwork
Teens
with well developed interpersonal skills get on better with others. As
they learn how to show empathy, that is, trying to understand other
people’s point of view, their ability to work with others improves. They
learn to share and develop strong friendships.
In today’s world there are so many things that could cause you to be anxious and anxiety can put pressure on your relationships. Too much anxiety could also take a toll on your mental and physical health and impact the network systems that you belong to.
While feelings of fear and uncertainties could lead to anxious
thoughts, you can take steps to reduce anxiety. Here are nine steps
you can take gain control of you worry and relieve your anxiety in your relationships.
Don't allow anxiety to destroy your relationship.
Challenge
self-defeating, anxious thoughts.
The things you say to yourself could lead to feelings of anxiety. So
you might need to monitor your thoughts, and replace negative
thoughts with more rational and self-enhancing ones. For example, what thoughts do think about your spouse after an argument? Are you afraid to say you are sorry?
Manage
your time better. You
could find that you get anxious because you feel unable to cope. Things
could get overwhelming because of poor time management. Plan out the
things you need to do each day and start with the most important
task. Try and stick to your schedule as far as possible and ask family members for help.
