Monday, 9 May 2016

How to Create a Sense of Acceptance in Your Child

Build respect and acceptance in your family.
We all have the basic need to be an important part of a group. The family is a special type of group that shapes the lives of its members and especially the children. It is essential that children find a sense of acceptance and belonging in their families.

Parents need to create home environments where members of family feel accepted and loved. Here are six steps you can take to create a sense of belonging and acceptance in your family.

Foster Nurturing Relationships

Creating a nurturing environment in your home fosters healthy family relationships and promotes a sense of belonging and acceptance in your children.

In this environment, you communicate unconditional love, and children feel that they are important parts of the family unit. If the interactions among family members are largely positive with a sense of collaboration, then the children's well-being is fostered.

Promote Acceptance

Each member of your family needs to feel accepted. This is especially important as your children are growing up. Feelings of acceptance come where you recognize and respect the uniqueness of each child in the family. For example, strive to emphasize the special contribution that each member of your family makes. Express your acceptance verbally to your children and encourage them  to express their acceptance to other family members frequently.  

Encourage Appreciation

The sense of belongingness in your family increases as you express appreciation for each other. In this atmosphere each child not only learns approval of self and each other, but it binds members of the family together. Encourage your children to learn from each other, share, and help each other. While they learn to give support to the interests and activities of  others, at the same time, allow them their own space to grow. 

Build Self-Esteem 

Self-esteem is the picture that your children have of themselves and whether or not they like what they see. Self-esteem affects every area of  your children's  life and it develops in the family setting. As your children are nurtured, they feel secure in their place as a part of the family. When their emotional, social, and physical needs are taken care of, trust develops in the your family and enhances the self-esteem its members.

Share Responsibility

Ensure that members of your families enjoy productive time together. In these times, bonds of love and friendships develop among you.  Take time to assign age appropriate tasks to you children from early. As each member of your family contributes to the welfare of the others through completing household tasks and responsibilities,  this promotes family strength. In such an environment,  children learn to show respect for others through serving one another.

Promote Healthy Communication

If there is an atmosphere of open and honest communication in your family, then a sense of belonging and acceptance will develop in your children. This helps children not only able to share their feelings honestly but also to actively listen to others.

In this environment, children do not fear that their opinions and feelings will be ridiculed or minimized. They learn that they can express themselves fully in a respectful way. They learn that their shared thoughts and feelings will be met with an understanding of their needs. Personal quality time for conversations, develops and enhances their feelings of being a part of the family.

In the TEDx video,  parent educator, Dr. Michelle Charfen, outlines a style of parenting that puts parents in a mutually respectful relationship with their children with shared decision-making. Her approach is based on psychologist, Carl Rogers' unconditional positive regard. According to Dr. Charfen, unconditional positive regard is "accepting and supporting a person regardless of what he has said or done."

Your children need a sense of acceptance and belonging that begins in the family. As a parent, you are their role model to instill this deep unconditional positive regard in their hearts and minds. While doing this
takes time and effort, it is well worth it. So take the necessary steps improve the relatedness and belonging in your family.

Image courtesy of Ambro at

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